I could still remember back in college when me and my friend Enzo would run Ateneo grounds during night time. Most of the time I ran on my own, but being with Enzo and sometimes Nescy helped me get over the creeps when running in the high school area at night (that place had a lot of ghost stories that, naturally, pinaniwalaan ko.)

Running was easy back then. When I ran, my mind was elsewhere while my body did what it had to do automatically. I loved running because I felt my lungs burn and my legs in heated pleasure as I hit the pavement. But nowadays running is different. I have to think about my posture and where and how my feet land. After I had transverse myelitis (spinal inflammation) in 2009, I never really got to run the way I used to. I have not regained that same kind of balance and sure-footedness that was second nature to anyone who could walk. I miss that so badly. Being able to let go, to just fly away with my feet.

But I’m working on it. I never stop thinking about it. About getting back, getting strong again, so I could run as I used to: feet on the ground, mind in the clouds.

These photos were taken during a fun run in SM Mall of Asia sometime in 2008. I already had lupus then and could not longer run because of rheumatoid arthritis affecting my joints. Even taking these picture was a struggle. I had a DSLR and a VR lens that weighed around 2 kilos and I was struggling to carry it let alone take decent pictures, but I still did.

I unearthed these photos from the now extict Mulitply account. This reminded me that I still want to run—run like I used to—run as if I were just breathing.